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‘I’ve been married just short of sixteen years
and it’s been a good marriage by any standard. But for quite some time now, it’s just been getting
harder and harder to achieve sexual satisfaction with my husband. Most times –
80% of the time, at least - I find that I have to fantasize about hot sexy guys
in my head to get really aroused and achieve sexual fulfillment with him. I’ve
never even thought about cheating (I would never ever cheat) but a few times, I’ve
been guilty of looking at a cute guy and thinking …..’hmmm, I would like to see
him naked.’ But that’s where it ends.
It worries me; I pray about it and wonder if
there’s something I can do to bring back the sexual spark. I also wonder if he thinks about other women when we’re being
intimate, if other women feel like this or I’m just a very bad person in my
head. It’s honestly giving me a headache especially as I’m a Christian and I don’t
exactly have people I can talk to about such intimate stuff; besides, I don’t want anyone looking at me in a weird way. I need help to move away from this. Anyone with words of advice for me? I'm dying here."
6 comments:
Christian? "For whosoever looketh on a man/woman with lust and sexual intent has committed adultery with him/her" so inputs the holy book. So forget that the portion that says 'I have not cheated, I wont cheat', you have been cheating with impunity. You might as well go and do the real thing with the six-packer you have been dreaming about so you can sleep easy and probably see that the difference is not clear.(apologies to pepsi). This is my advice. Very candid. Meanwhile stop fooling yourself that your husband doesn't know. Men are not that foolish with regard to sex and the emotion attached to it inspite of the general belief amongst women. Chances are that he knows you are not there with him while he pounds away but for men sex has other values and meaning outside of releasing emotion. My only worry is for your husband might stumble onto this blog site, because if he does he will confirm what he must have been suspecting. That will be too bad for every body. If I were him, I will start going outside to have my fill of U-21 youngsters. The way I see it you won't be good in bed even. One more time, go out there and find the handsome guy/guys and have you feel of them-bags and baggages, so you make your conclusions and then come inside to serve your husband properly if your marriage is still valid by then. Adultery is adultery, whether in your heart or on your body. Infact one of the heart is more treacherous.
I hope you find my advice very useful.
Christian? "For whosoever looketh on a man/woman with lust and sexual intent has committed adultery with him/her" so inputs the holy book. So forget that the portion that says 'I have not cheated, I wont cheat', you have been cheating with impunity. You might as well go and do the real thing with the six-packer you have been dreaming about so you can sleep easy and probably see that the difference is not clear.(apologies to pepsi). This is my advice. Very candid. Meanwhile stop fooling yourself that your husband doesn't know. Men are not that foolish with regard to sex and the emotion attached to it inspite of the general belief amongst women. Chances are that he knows you are not there with him while he pounds away but for men sex has other values and meaning outside of releasing emotion. My only worry is for your husband might stumble onto this blog site, because if he does he will confirm what he must have been suspecting. That will be too bad for every body. If I were him, I will start going outside to have my fill of U-21 youngsters. The way I see it you won't be good in bed even. One more time, go out there and find the handsome guy/guys and have you feel of them-bags and baggages, so you make your conclusions and then come inside to serve your husband properly if your marriage is still valid by then. Adultery is adultery, whether in your heart or on your body. Infact one of the heart is more treacherous.
I hope you find my advice very useful.
Haba, this man what kind of advice is this? You are being assaulted by the same kind of demon possessing this 'dutifulwife of somebody. I think boyth of you need serious counselling. Poor man-I mean the husband of the "mind" adulterer.
Ah ah!! First poster. You are being a bit harsh or are you saying your mind has never wandered before? Is there any human without weaknesses or struggles? That is the point of God's grace, is it not? For sure, this is adultery but obviously, she's aware so it's for her to try and gain self discipline so she can control her thoughts and change her ways. Condemning her is not the answer in any way. Sister, do the needful and mind your thoughts, alrite? Good luck
Terrible my dear I think you are dining with the demon adultery and fornication. In my pastoral work I have met your type severally. You must have started by hating your husband and wishing you married another person. As the demonic possesion grows you start masturbation especially while sleeping without knowing it. You will be holding your pillow and rubbing your vulva area. It will start gradually and later become compulsive, now you have graduated to wishing your husband is another person when he is on top of uyou, ultimately you start having sex outside if you have not started already. Pity. You need help. First start by reading Psalm 51 and confess to your husband also.
The person that suggested that the lady in the write up confess to her husband must be joking. How can she do that? Do you want her marriage to end? Please she should go and confess to her pastor or priest who will not look at her suspiciously everytime she smiles in her sleep.
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