Caught in the middle – my story of four soul mates

“All I’m asking from anyone who reads my story is to keep an open mind. I’m not a crazy or promiscuous person – I’m just confused.

For a long time, I didn’t have any good guy in my life and it depressed me. I socialized a lot, hoping to find my soul mate but it seemed he just didn’t exist …until a few months ago. Now, I’ve met four soul mates and it’s driving me crazy.

Soul mate 1: I met Andrew (not real name) at a friend’s wedding. After going for so many weddings without finding a good guy, I was not looking forward to yet another boring wedding party but I could not miss my friend’s wedding. Feeling unmotivated, I didn’t make much effort to beautify myself. I was by myself at a corner when a guy dragged his chair and sat close to me. We started talking and before I knew it, we had moved our conversation from the wedding reception to a small bar in the neighborhood.

Andrew was very funny and I laughed so hard that day. He was not my usual type – he was a little skinny and not too tall, but he was not bad looking either. After that day, we exchanged phone numbers and would talk and hang out regularly.  He was kind, considerate and paid attention to me. I’d mention something to him casually and he’d call me up the next day to ask about it. He was also very helpful – practically did all the heavy lifting when I moved to a new apartment and was just available anytime I needed him. Andrew was a nice guy.

Soul mate 2: I met Kenny (not real name) through a colleague. He came to see his friend, who worked with me, and while he waited for the guy to get back, he sat at my table and we chatted casually. He was interesting, seemed to know a lot about a lot of things and was well travelled. He worked as an International staff at one of the big oil companies and was home on vacation. He was also good looking with muscles bulging underneath his close fitted tee-shirt; physically, he definitely was my type. He ended up spending his vacation with me and it was incredible. Just touching those muscles of his made my mouth water every single time and the guy knew how to work a woman right and he worked me. Oh boy!

Soul mate 3: Obi (not real name) was introduced to me by my sister who was desperately trying to marry me off. But unlike her past male connections, Obi was pretty cool. He worked with an NGO, didn’t have a lot of money but he was very exposed. He spoke well and dressed immaculately all the time. Best part for my family – he was from my side of town. I enjoyed spending time with Obi because his experiences fascinated me. He also took me to all these cool functions where I met all kinds of interesting people – there were few dull moments with this guy.

Soul mate 4: ID (not real name) is a business man, good looking, with some money and very mature…and he has this mesmerizing hazel eyes. But there was one major flaw; he was uneducated. This made hanging out with him in public or with my friends a little difficult as he made these horrendous mistakes in English which made me cringe all the time but on our own, I liked him a lot and it was obvious he adored me. He would send me surprise lunches at work and ID is the first guy who sent me flowers (Girls in Nigeria know what I mean. Guys here at home don’t do flowers as a norm but he did and I loved it). He would buy ‘his and hers’ stuff for both of us – wristwatches, clothes, jewellery, sneakers, etc. and would call me to ask my opinion on decisions he wanted to take – like when he was doing the finishing of his house, he dragged me along to pick everything out and when I didn’t have time, he would wait until I made time. It was like he was telling me that I had a permanent place with him and it touched me.

My dilemma: I like them all. It’s been exhausting for me though as it takes all my energy and wit to manage these four guys… believe me, it's not easy and it takes a lot of lying on my part not to get caught. At a point, I had to start writing my schedule down to avoid mixing things up. I was relieved when Kenny’s vacation ended as it reduced the number of guys on my neck and left me juggling him over the phone. And thank goodness for Obi’s job which takes him out of town often, limiting the time I spend with him. But can you imagine me…from being ‘manless’ to having four guys who want to be with me at the same time. Juggling them is a nightmare and yet, it's like having a special high – exhilarating and confusing at the same time.

Now, I’m at a point where I have to decide who I’m going to stay with and it’s hard to make a choice. I really like them all but strangely, I find myself thinking wistfully about ID. Out of all of them, I think I connected most with him because of the kind of person he is. And his hazel eyes – oh my goodness – those eyes kill me anytime he stares at me. But he’s uneducated and I can’t imagine spending my life with a guy who can barely construct a good sentence.

I have to choose soon so I can stop all the lying and juggling and maintain my sanity. Who do I choose?