Circumcision and how it treated me

Iimage source: independent.co.uk
 

I had always heard of circumcision but it was only in my thirties that I realized this dreaded act had been done to me. After years of very unsatisfactory sex with my husband, I gave up on ever having an enjoyable sex life. I did my duty – moaned at the right time, sighed at the right time and even teased my beloved husband of his prowess at the right time. I had to do all these to stop myself from going crazy with worry over my inability to enjoy sex like a normal person.

 

I lost my virginity in my early twenties. Too much of my mum’s words about the hell that would descend on me if I indulged in the act had filled me with so many inhibitions, it had taken a trailer load of words and work before my boyfriend at the time finally convinced me to give it up. I didn’t enjoy our dalliances at all and I believed it was because I was so afraid of getting pregnant or going to hell. So, when I got married and still didn’t enjoy it, I wondered why – sex within marriage was legitimate so what was wrong with me? I was depressed, frustrated and worst of all, I dreaded my husband’s love of intimacy. I was miserable and having no one to confide in made it worse. Who could I talk to about this most intimate act? Not my friends who might be tempted to discuss my private issues with others and humiliate me or maybe even think I’m a freak, and definitely not my mother. I resigned myself to a sexually unfulfilling life.

One day, I went with a friend to a marriage counseling programme and the female anchor spoke about her sexual experiences as a circumcised woman. It was shocking, and very much relieving, to hear a number of women talk about their experiences and in their words, I realized what I was - a circumcised woman. I could not believe my ears and I listened raptly as they spoke of the different ways they’d tried to find some joy in the most intimate of acts. Someone spoke about the different methods of the unfortunate act of circumcision and how it was possible to still feel some pleasure if one was circumcised a certain way. They talked about how important open communication with our spouses were in this situation so when I got home, I drummed up the courage to talk to my husband. I could see the relief in his eyes when I spoke of this and it was surprising to hear him speak of his suspicions about my ‘orgasms.’

We did our research and discovered that my form of circumcision still allowed me to experience some sensation  – it just required him to work a little harder and he did ….oh, he did!

With care, he trailed every inch of my entire body until we discovered what my sensitive spots were – and he worked it every time to make sure I enjoyed our experience as much as he did. My first orgasm shocked me to the core and every moan and sigh was the real deal which pleased us both. However, I still think of this brutality on innocent women and shortly after my discovery, I had an honest conversation with my mother who expressed regrets over an act that was considered important and necessary in our culture at the time. While I'm glad I got lucky as they did not rob me of every thing, I cannot help but think of others who have been robbed completely of their right to fullness. I hope, one day, to see it completely abolished from every culture.