Love ruined my plans and taught me a lesson …one I’ll never forget

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“Love is an unkind feeling; a disruptive emotion that has no regard for well laid out plans of people. It tears your plans apart, without due consideration to the years of effort that went into making them. I should know – I found myself a victim of this feeling called love five years ago.

Growing up, I had my own ideas of a utopian adult life. Just like those women in the movies, I would graduate with flying colors, get a good job, drive a cool car and live in a trendy apartment. When the time was right, I would marry Mr. Right – a rich, handsome, fashionable man who would make me the envy of many women.

That was the plan; fool proof, I thought, since I was well on my way to achieving it all. I did graduate with a 3.8 average, got a good job right after and bought a car. Not the coolest of cars but it was mine and that was cool enough. Riding high on my success at achieving the first phase of my childhood dreams, I was locked in the belief of my plan’s invincibility. I had conquered the difficult part – the husband part was going to be easier; after all, I was pretty by any standard. Tall, model slim, fair skinned with big eyes that told a story anytime you looked into them, Mr. Right was not going to be able to resist me the moment he set eyes on me.

One fateful Sunday evening, my good friend invited me to a friend’s beach party. With high hopes, I put on my best pair of faded denim shorts and a brightly colored tank top; ready to conquer the territory I may find myself in. Alas, what a territory. The beach gathering was the lamest I’d seen in years – the party had a representation of every age group, from the infants and toddlers to the middle aged and old. It was a disappointing sight and I sadly turned away from them all. Mr. Right would definitely not be caught dead there; the crowd would be too lame for my dream man.

Sitting on a log of wood facing the sea, I gazed at the raging waters which struggled to get a taste of my bare feet on the almost pristine white sand. I was unaware of time passing by until a voice whispered beside me, ‘Don’t you want a drink? The coolers have kept them cold.’

I turned and looked into one of the kindest eyes I had ever seen. Wearing chinos trousers and a polo short, he looked a bit overdressed for the beach. Suddenly, I realized this was the celebrant – my friend had introduced us the minute I got there but I’d not paid him any attention. I smiled at him, declining; the calmness of the sea breeze was cooling enough for any thirst I might feel. I just wanted to stare at the waters forever.

‘That’s okay. The cool breeze and beautiful atmosphere is sweet enough to quench ay thirst you may be feeling anyway.’

Surprised, I looked back at him and he smiled at him. He knew exactly what I was feeling because he was feeling the same. Moving around the log, he sat down beside me and we started talking. He took my number and called me often, but I avoided him. He did not fit into the profile of my Mr. Right – he was not tall enough, handsome enough or trendy enough. He knew nice places and was really smart but he didn’t run with a cool crowd. This was not the man; at least, that’s what I thought back then.

Today, I’m happily married to that man; four years of marriage and two kids to show for it. He swept me off my feet with persistence, romance and declarations of love. I discovered him to be very thoughtful, kind and extremely considerate. I fought not to get tangled in his web; he fought to ensnare me completely. You know who won the fight and I look back with laughter and a measure of bewilderment.

I had the perfect plan; I had achieved most of it yet, love beat me at my own game. I still don’t know how it happened but it did. Love taught me a valuable lesson that day five years ago – that it was no respecter of persons or plans. That lesson is one I will never forget.