My son’s friend has a crush on me and I’m freaking out because I think I’m beginning to crush on him too

“I’m looking at my twenty year old neighbor, Okor (not real name) and I’m thinking to myself, ‘Oh boy’. I quickly look away when he starts looking up but before I can walk through my gate, he calls out a greeting and I smile weakly. He comes over, walks with me to the car and starts helping unload the groceries while we chat. Though it’s all casual, there is the ‘current’ underneath our conversation and it’s been there for some time now. I sigh. The boy is so cute; if only he isn’t twenty two years younger, if only I’m not his friend’s mother, if only his mother’s not my friend...*sigh*”

Almost two years ago, my husband woke up and decided he didn't want to be married to me anymore and moved out - just like that. Later, I found out that he'd moved in with some woman in some other part of town. It was so unexpected and left my son and I pretty shaken up. Okor is my son’s good friend and after my husband's move, he spent a lot of time at my home with my son. Okor would do chores with him, run errands and just do anything that needed to be done around the house. He became such a big part of our lives that even when my son is not around, he still came over to do stuff for me.

I don’t know when it happened – all I know is one day, I started to notice little things about him – the sweet smiles, the thoughtful little gifts he brought for me like sweet treats, and how shy he’d sometimes get around me. I thought his behavior was cute until my last birthday when he got me a beautiful wristwatch while my own son got me a head band. I began to pay more attention and I realized – the boy might have a crush on me. Also, a few times, I caught him looking at me in a funny way and when our eyes met, he quickly looked away.

This worried me but within the worry, I found myself unable to control that tingle of excitement and gladness whenever he came around. You have to understand - Okor was not like any twenty-year old I knew; okay, he was attractive and had that glow that only youth gives, but he was also kind, charming, sensitive and very interested in the things around him. We had these amazing conversations and I simply enjoyed his company.

One day, as I spent time in my home doing a few things, I was startled to realize I was looking forward to him coming over as he usually did on certain evenings. I also realized that I’d begun to feel funny around him – flustered and a bit self-conscious. This made me anxious and I tried to withdraw but the boy was persistent and would hang around me until I had no choice but to chat with him.

Now, I suspect Okor’s beginning to sense something in me because he’s been coming over more times when I’m home alone. A few times, he’s brushed his hand against mine, though he apologized but I sense it was not a mistake on his part, and once I had to chastise him for not paying attention to something I was saying to him. I noticed he was staring at my mouth and it made me a bit uncomfortable. At my frown, he looked up guiltily and asked me to repeat myself.

A couple of times, I've caught my son watching his friend shrewdly while we all talked but he didn’t say anything so I guess he dismissed any suspicions he might have. Not that anything is going on – I mean, there is some weird energy between us but I’m too smart and cautious to pursue it. So, though we still spend time together and have all these conversations, I play the adult and try to ignore the longing looks he throws my way. I just hope I stay strong against this kind of temptation. Or maybe, I should just stop him from coming to my home but what reasons would I give my son – I don’t know. I just know I want to do something that will make sure I don’t go there, even by mistake.”