Call me a gold-digger but I’d rather take crap from a rich old dude than a young fine boy

older man with younger woman

Everyone was aghast when I started dating my current boy (old man?) friend, Imade (not real name). My friends, a few family members who knew him and a bunch of other acquaintances would act weird anytime he came around. I would hear the sniggers whenever we went out together and he was affectionate and my close friends actually complained that he was too old for me.

I met Imade the day he saved me from getting completely soaked under a heavy downpour. I was walking in my neighborhood when the weather changed with heavy dark clouds. Just as the first big, strong drops of rain hit the ground, a car stopped near me and the driver offered me a ride and I entered. We ended up having a really good conversation on our way to my place.  When he dropped me off, we exchanged phone numbers and that was it.

Imade is old – I noticed that right away – but he is definitely young at heart. He’s funny, gentle, worldly and quite nice. We didn’t automatically start dating; it had started with small phone calls, then he would ask me to join him on some errands or to do other stuff like try new restaurants, watch movies, go to drama shows, etc. I enjoyed spending time with him as he was a worldly man who’s had interesting experiences, went to nice places and knew so many interesting stuff.

Gradually, he began to buy me stuff – movie or show tickets for me and my friends, small items like vases or appliances to spruce up my place, etc. He would send his driver to chauffer me around and sometimes, he would help me out with my bills – gas, electricity, etc. He didn’t offer money for them – he would just ask me to give them to his driver to add to the bills he’s going to pay for him. It was a few weeks before he asked me out on a real date; he was open about wanting me in his life as his girlfriend and I said yes. Imade was everything I admired in a man, except that I had always expected to find those things in a guy who was twenty years younger than him, but then, life usually never happens like we expect, does it?

Before him, I had dated young cute guys and all I got was a broken heart. These guys would cheat or just be plain insensitive, expecting you to give more than you get to maintain the relationship while they sat on their lazy asses. It was as if they expected you to be grateful to be with them. I would also end up spending a good portion of my money on them just to prove my devotion to the relationship – hmm.

But with my Imade, it’s a different story. He is grateful to have me in his life and pampers me silly because of it. I can’t count how much I’ve gained financially and emotionally by being with him. We’ve been together a little over a year and I have a closet full of gifts and experiences to show for it. For my birthday, he organized a two week shopping trip abroad for me just because I mentioned that I’d never been outside the country. I basically have all my material needs met by him and don’t have to worry about a thing.

I’m not saying there are no downsides. He’s a widower with two kids who are in colleges abroad and they never fail to terrorize me when they come home on vacations but then, those vacations don’t last so long so I patiently wait until they leave to relax again.   

When I give my reasons for being with him, my friends say all men are the same and he could leave me or cheat on me at any moment. But I always tell them – I’d rather have someone like Imade cheat on me or give me grief because I gain so much from him than have some shmuck do it. If I must date someone, why not make it worth my while? It’s all the same thing to me. By the way, Imade is fifty three years old; I’m twenty eight. And I don’t care.