I was asked
this question recently and I thought to put it out here because I’m not
sure what the appropriate answer is.
There’s this family of girls – all in their
late twenties and early thirties, all doing pretty well in their careers. They lost
their dad less than a year ago it was quite devastating for them.
Now, some of the girls have come to their mum
with the good news that their boyfriends have proposed and they are ready to
get married …quickly. They are pushing for early dates to be set for all the
traditional rites so they can proceed with their church wedding plans without
delay. Before you think that – no one’s pregnant, they just want to move on to
the next phase of their lives.
Although it’s good news, some other family
members are not too comfortable with it at this time. They feel their dad should
be mourned for a full year and having weddings within this time is almost a
betrayal to their beloved father’s memory – as if they don’t love him enough to
wait to move on. Both sides of the divide are making sense so it’s hard to decide
what the ‘appropriate’ answer is. What do you think? Constructive comments will be so appreciated.
12 comments:
This is sad but you know, life has to move on. In my place, once its six months, its okay to do whatever. It doesnt mean you love the person anyless
My dear, its their dad that died, not their husband. Let them get married. Time waits for no one especially in things like this
though it's sad, and pple may think it's too soon, but i think they should move on with their lives. once it's up to 6 months, it's ok.
please! the dead is long gone n buried, better hook that guy b4 another sharper lagos babe will collect him from u oh. siddon dia dey ask question.
Truly, its good to mourn one's parents, but i suggest that the mourning should be for a period of six months at least so that people would move on with their lives.To my fellow babes, please shine your eyes.....................
i rem when a neighbour's wife died, in less than a month of burying her, another chik had moved in to take her place. no questions asked, no eyebrows raised. the man moved on with his life quietly, n damned what anybody had to say. my dear, in dis life, sometimes you have to turn a deaf ear to what pple are saying. your father is dead, and you have accorded him his respect n given him a befitting burial. now it's time to move on , n think about your own life. it doesnt mean you loved ur dad any less.
Check what the bible says about mourning the dead and you'll see that six months is even too much. Seriously though, move on sisters. Let your mum continue mourning for its her turn now. One day, your turn to mourn your partner will come but hopefully, in very ripe old age. Ndo nu!
or better still, y not quietly do registry, and chill for a few more months before you do white wedding?
@anon 0:45, u make sense
Anon 00.24, its a neighbors wife that died and so the guy is a bad man and did not wait long enough, what of the woman that started sleeping with the husbands friend a week after the husband was buried? Silly. Anyway if the girls and their boy/man friends care anything about their late father/in-law they should give time, after all the man will not die again. These marriages they rush into, they always rush out of it. All ye bad copiers of white culture.
Anon 16:35, bad copiers of white culture is a good point, see our celebrities now release prewedding pixs. What the hell is that? Msshew. Though I don't think it applies here since standard mourning period is 6mths in almost every area. If its been up to that, its ok. Or like someone said, do parts of the marriage rites and fix the big church wedding after the 1yr anniversary of his death
Lets tell the truth here pls. If a relationship cant survive waiting a few months, then that relationship wont survive the rigors of marriage and that's the truth. Rush it cos you're desperately in love and not cos the guys might change their minds. That's a ridiculous reason!
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